water that the condition occurs. Both authors have applied to go to Malibu to “hang ten” and test this hypothesis but as yet research funds have not been forthcoming.

The incision known by the name of Wilde belongs to the father of the well-known playwright, Oscar. At this point it should be noted that neither Wilde nor Toynbee ever performed a mastoidectomy. One of our colleaguesⁱⁱ was appalled to hear a fellow surgeon referring to a “Vild” incision. The poor fool was under the misapprehension that he came from Germany. When the reader learns that this occurred in Newcastle he will perhaps be a little more inclined to believe what we agree appears rather a tall story, but, we are assured, perfectly true. Sir William Wilde advocating penetrating the mastoid bone, but actually used his incision only for draining post-auricular abscesses. In 1853 he published a volume on aural surgery. He was not thought to be homosexual, but then again, in Newcastle, neither was his son.

An illustration as to how dangerous it could have been in the past to have any sort of serious infection is shown by an incident involving the remarkable Lt Colonel A D Wintle. He was admitted in the 1920s following a riding accident to a military hospital where he met a boy trumpeter by the name of Mays. He was in the part of the ward popularly known as the Stiff’s Retreat suffering from mastoiditis and diphtheria, usually a fatal combination. Not put out in the least, he roared at him:

What’s all this nonsense about dying, May? You know it is an offence for a Royal Dragoon to die in bed. You will stop dying at once, and when you get up – get your bloody hair cut.²¹⁷

May later confided that after that he was too terrified to die. Wintle was quite a fearsome self-assured character who did not suffer fools gladly, holding that:

There are essentially only two classes of Englishmen: those who believe themselves superior to foreigners – and those who know they are.

Stay updated, free articles. Join our Telegram channel

Join